In the beginning of Après Vous, Antoine, the
main character, chances upon Louis, a man who is trying to kill himself.
Antoine saves him and finds himself having to help Louis to reconstruct
First Step: Find the woman who is at the heart of his new friend's
misery, and try to push her back into his arms.
First complication: He falls in love with that woman, and she falls
in love with him…
Things are getting more and more complicated, so very soon, Antoine
is confronted with this terrible question: "Am I a good person?"
No matter what you do, or don't do, this moment will come, knocking
at your door: "Am I a good person?" Pretty nasty question
to try and answer. If you are honest, that is. Scary stuff.
Here is a little quiz, composed in order to help and guide you through
this bad moral maze.
1. You cross the park after dark and stumble upon the following
scene: A stranger is standing on top of a suitcase under a big tree,
with a rope tied around his neck. What do you do?
a. Save him
b. You are late for a hot date you have been trying to get for months,
so you decide to give the man his space and respect his decision
c. You don't like asking yourself too many complex questions (and you
are late for a hot date you have been trying to get for months), so
you look at the scene and ask yourself: "Isn't it a funny time,
and place, to practice climbing?"
2. You have saved this man's life, but he has nowhere to go.
What do you do?
a. Insist he comes and stays with you
b. Give him some money, the address of a decent hotel, and flee the
c. Give him the keys to your old flat, where your ex lives now with
her new "boyfriend" and walk him to the place to make sure
he doesn't get lost
3. You search for the woman who was the love of your new dependent's
life, and obviously the cause for his unimaginable pain. When you do
find her, to your horror she finds you irresistible, and you find her
gorgeous too. What do you do?
a. Bang your head against a concrete wall 17 times
b. Try and be decent, focus your attention on her physical defects,
and do all that is necessary to get her back with her former beau
c. Try and be decent, focus your attention on her physical defects,
only to realise that they are the most charming things which make her
who she is
4. You are in a hotel room with this fabulous woman, with whom
you are about to spend the night. What do you do?
a. Just before it's too late, you pick up the phone and call an ex-girlfriend,
who is clearly still in love with you, so she can remind you "what
an untrustworthy and shameless coward you are, a pathetic, egocentric
and cruel man, who always, but always, escapes responsibility, and who
should try for once in his life to do the right thing"
b. Just before it's too late, you pick up the phone and call an ex-girlfriend,
who is clearly still in love with you, and rush to her place
c. Just before it's too late, you pick up the phone and call an ex-girlfriend,
who is clearly still in love with you, and suggest she joins the two
of you in room number 128
5. You have spent a dream of a night with this lovely woman.
But then you wake up with the break of first light, consumed by guilt
and remorse. What do you do?
a. Face your new friend, tell him the truth and bang your head against
a concrete wall 17 times
b. Face your new friend, tell him the truth and ask for his forgiveness
c. Face your new friend, tell him the truth and ask for his understanding
SCORING: A = 3 points B = 2 points
C = 1 point
Between 15 and 13 points
Everybody likes you and thinks you are a good person. The truth is that
you are just insecure and lacking confidence in yourself. If you are
charitable, it is because you need people to love you. As a matter of
fact, you are narcissistic and vain, and you absolutely must see this
movie, which highlights the purest of human values, such as selflessness
Between 13 and 8 points
You are very ambivalent—it is human after all. You will recognise
yourself in this movie, and in the main characters, who, at times, are
driven towards acts of total mediocrity, but who are also allowed moments
of greatness. Can we help someone and betray him, or her, at the same
time? Can we love someone and betray him, or her, at the same time?
These questions still intrigue you and you will find in this movie all
the elements for complex (and ambivalent!) answers, as well as some
Between 8 and 6 points
You are either someone who is really mean, or simply a cynic. If you
are any of these two, you should go and see this movie—
it would make you feel good. It would make you feel big! You could either
make fun of it during its long 115 minutes and keep ridiculing it for
the rest of the substantial period of its successful release; or you
have the option to lacerate, using a knife or a razor, the photos of
the movie's lead actors which are printed in this very magazine.
You are a maniac with a serious compulsive obsession to do with the
letter C, which you must always encircle with a red pen the minute you
spot it (in papers, posters, billboards, other people's book covers,
bank notes, etc…). In this case, it is highly recommended that
you don't go and see this movie. It is with subtitles.